Eminem has a Relapse?

The much awaited Eminem album was released today. We've already had two videos released, "We made you," and "Crack a bottle". I was never a huge fan of Eminem when he was popular, it has only been since his long hiatus that I actually started to take an interest in his back-catalog.

I was pretty interested to hear some of the new stuff when the internet hype started, until I heard the new singles. The new video he put out for "We Made You" was so fucking stupid, so fucking played out and recycled, I almost said fuck it and just passed on the whole joint.

Well, I should have.
The whole album is as shitty as that song.

There is not one relevant or good line I could find on the whole first half of the album. Plus, he's rapping with this fucked up retarded accent. It's confusing. It's like he's trying to have some kind of British accent or something.

One of the songs on his album is called "Medicine Ball", where in, he raps about Christoper Reeve for half the song. The verses are weak at best, consisting of lines like:


Put Christopher Reeves on a unicycle with a kickstand
Kick it up and push him and *knee* him right into quick sand
Here you need a hand... big man... grab hold of this branch
With both hands, man they don't understand I'm just a sick man
Now everybodys pissed at me like it's my fault his name rhymes with so many different words... jeeze


Christopher Reeve is dead. He died in 2004. He's not even relevant anymore. Why are you dedicating half a song to making fun of a guy who died five years ago? Beyond that, Reeve doesn't rhyme with Jeeze. It doesn't even sound the same.

Clearly, after becoming rich and settling all your lawsuits, you no longer have anything of value to rap about. This album is just a series of muddled lines about serial killers (which he's not), drugs, irrelevant celebrities and arbitrary sexual innuendo of both a homosexual and heterosexual variety.

Really one of the only good tracks on the whole album is "Deja Vu", which is ironic, considering it sounds like a lot of his old stuff. It's a song about a reoccurring drug habit, and the perils of doing drugs. in the end, he's found dead on his bathroom floor.

Essentially, the album isn't even worth listening to until track 16, which is pretty fucking sad, because there are 20 tracks on the special edition. All said and done, that means there are exactly TWO decent songs on the whole 77 minute debacle of an album.

Final Verdict: Shady should stay sober and stop making fucking albums. Don't buy this, download it for the two Dr. Dre appearances, if for nothing else.